Hello beauties! Can you believe that we're almost at the end of 2022?! This year has flown by--and my prayer is that you've been setting boundaries, saying 'no', pouring into yourself, and loving on you. If you haven't--I get it. Life happens...and sometimes we're not ok. I'm here to tell you that it's ok to not be ok--but you can't stay that way!
To those who haven't felt like themselves for a while, but keep pushing forward...stop. I want you to stop and first, breathe. Deep breaths, in...and...out. Then I want to challenge you to feel everything. Sit with it for a while...yes, even if it hurts. Sometimes we may feel like acknowledging our feelings, sitting in them, and processing them is something to be avoided. I'm here to tell you that if you intentionally choose to wait, and continue to push how you feel under the rug; those feelings will mollywhop you at some point. And it's usually at what seems like the most inopportune time in your life--like times of change and/or transition. How do I know? I'm in this space as I write to you. I have literally been on 'go' for the past three years and have not taken the time to grieve loss, I haven't made space to process feelings that call for me to forgive others and myself, or to truly celebrate any wins. And now, I'm feeling everything that comes with this at a time I felt I should be prospering--post grad life with my masters degree in Social Work. I'm not ok, but it's ok!
If you've been slacking at work or school, feeling bleh with less energy, finding yourself saying, "I don't have the capacity" for almost everything; I dare you to be honest with yourself and say, "Hey, that's me"! with zero shame. I want to remind you that you are human...and life will inevitably get a little heavy. You only have two hands, so when things get to be too much, I want to encourage you to put things down. Whether it's family, school, work, ministry, relationships, etc--take inventory of what needs to get less of you so that you can pour into yourself. And ask for help. Yep, I said the dreaded 'H' word. I'm here to affirm you in your journey of learning how to ask for help. Take inventory of those who love you and stand on that very fact to combat the sucky, untrue feeling that you'll be deemed a burden if you ask for assistance with coping, paying bills, getting groceries, or needing a babysitter so that you can sit and breathe or take a nap. Maybe you just need a friend to come sit with you or stay on FaceTime while you tackle the clothes that have been piled up for a month. Perhaps you need a friend to call and just scream til you feel better (I've done it, and it works). Or maybe you've extended your TMobile bill for the last time and need help to ensure you can stay connected--nobody knows until you get over yourself and ask. Read this and may it pop you in the forehead when you choose to suffer and struggle in silence--"There's no shame in needing help. I can't do life, alone".
Let me remind you that we are still living during an endemic(are the years 2020-2022 a blur to anyone else? Just me?), witnessing social injustices that drain us, living with inflation and never ending Sallie Mae calls; while also working, making strides towards self improvement, maintaining our physical/mental wellness, raising kids, and being present for our significant others. This is no easy feat, friend. And somewhere along the way, you may not be ok. And that is ok! During this season of my life, I've been told that there is no badge of honor for suffering in silence...especially when you have a village to support you. Shred your cape, today. Put some things down, today. Sit somewhere quiet, be still, and breathe--today. Make decisions for your life that will ensure you're able to thrive--not just survive. Know that you are loved, cared for, and deserving of help when life seems to take the gloves off.
If you've been feeling unlike yourself and need a little more support than prayer and talks with friends and family, I encourage you to get a therapist and/or psychiatrist. It's a safe, non-judgmental space to process all the feelings you may have sitting under a rug. This huge step towards mental and total wellness; partnered with fasting, prayer, praise, and medication management (if needed) can work wonders to get you, 'back to you'.
xoxo,
Coach Q
God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He’s all I’ve got left. -Lamentations 3:22-24 (MSG Version)